Why Do We Answer "Fine" When We're Not? The Turmoil of the Human Mind and the Frustration of "How Are You?"

 

The Turmoil of the Human Mind and the Frustration ...

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​We are amazing, creative, and above all, we are profoundly intelligent minds. Each of us carries a universe of ideas and judgments that operate in a totally different way. In fact, it is almost impossible to explain. Not even we, as humans, can know exactly what another person is thinking in that precise second or what they would do in a given situation.

​And this is precisely where the real secret of communication lies: in the access and ability to steer a conversation toward authenticity.

​The Monotony of Routine Communication

​Why do we mechanically ask each other, "What are you up to?" or "How are you doing?" We don't do it just because we have to. We often do it because we expect, almost instinctively, a neutral or positive answer. These phrases have become nothing more than a disguised greeting.

​The standard reply to "How are you?" is almost always the same: "Fine, thank you. And you?" It's a monotonous exchange of lines, a social convention that avoids the effort of digging beneath the surface.

​The Moment of Truth: The Negative Response

​I want to confess something to you: I experienced a moment that, frankly, I don't know if I'm the only one who has. To my routine question, "How are you doing?", I received a negative answer. A response of brutal sincerity.

​Instead of the usual "Fine," I heard: "I'm not fine. I'm going through a period where, believe me, I feel like bursting into tears."

​What could I have said? Was I expected to say I'm sorry or something like that? No! I expected them to answer like everyone else. That sincerity blocked me.

​What did I do? I uttered the response I expected to receive from him! I simply said, without pausing to process what he actually said: "Okay, I'm fine too, thank you!" I gave a mechanical answer, a positive reply to a negative statement. I answered what I thought I would hear, not what I actually heard.

​The Beautiful Unpredictability of the Mind

​It is precisely in this shock, in this unexpected response—and in my purely mechanical reaction!—that the beauty and intelligence of the human brain truly reside. We are entities that exceed the limits of thought and reaction of any algorithm. We are unpredictable. We are complex.

​We are not meant to be monotony, but that negative response that breaks the pattern, which forces us to stop and genuinely listen. The human mind is vast and full of nuances that we may never fully understand.

​What Do You Think?

​Have you ever received a completely unexpected answer to a routine question? Have you ever been the one to break the ice with a perfectly honest reply?

​Leave me your thoughts in the comments. It means a lot to me—a whole lot! Thank you!