The Mind, Loneliness, and the Pilgrimage: If You Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him!

 

 If You Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him!

​What would a man be without his mind? This is the question that haunted me after the loss I suffered, in those moments of silent loneliness that weigh heavier than any noise. In my whispered escape from reality, I tried to occupy every corner of my mind with projects: blogging, media, movies, music, and books. I sought refuge in creation just to prevent the emptiness from settling in permanently. 

​It is often said that time heals all wounds. It’s a phrase we hear everywhere, but the truth is much harsher: before time can resolve anything, you must live that time or "kill" it. You cannot just wait on the sidelines; you must walk through it, even when it hurts.

​During this search, I received a recommendation from an online friend. At first, the title seemed simply interesting, a bit shocking, but as I moved forward, I became completely immersed in a reading that quickly became my favorite in the field of psychology.

​Who is Sheldon Kopp and what does he teach us?

​The book, titled "If You Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him! The Pilgrimage of Psychotherapeutic Patients", was written by Sheldon Kopp. He was a renowned American psychotherapist with an existentialist orientation. Kopp doesn’t write like a professor from a podium, but like a man who has suffered himself, perfectly understanding the mechanisms of pain and isolation.

​The essence of the book is simple and brutal at the same time:

• ​Life as a Pilgrimage: Life is not a destination, but a personal pilgrimage where each of us must discover our own truth.

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  ​Killing Idols: The metaphor in the title tells us that if you think you have found a "Buddha" (a guru, a leader, a miraculous external solution), you must "kill" him. Why? Because any external image of perfection is just an illusion that prevents you from seeing your own power.

• ​Radical Responsibility: The central message is that you must not rely on mentors or external authorities to be happy. No one has the recipe for your success except you.

• ​The Therapist as a Companion: Kopp explains that a guide is just a fellow traveler, not someone who holds the keys to your happiness. He encourages total independence and taking responsibility for your own life.

​Why did I need this turning point?

​I found myself in this book exactly when I needed it most. It offered me a giant question mark, but also the answer that, consciously, I had to give myself.

​If you feel alone, if you feel like you are losing yourself in projects just to forget, I tell you one thing: you are your own referee. No one can make you well if you don't help yourself on your own. Healing doesn't come from others; it begins within, the moment you decide to stop running. I received a simple recommendation, and it was the move I needed to find myself again.

​Don't hesitate to look for it. You might find in its pages the strength to live through time, not just let it pass by.

​Leave a comment below: What is your take on this perspective? Do you believe we are truly the only ones responsible for our healing, or do we need someone to show us the way?